Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
