if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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