Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
