why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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