my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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