I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize