Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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