I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize