You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
