I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
