I just gift wrapped bread.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
