how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's get the cat blown out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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