last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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