Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
