38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
