so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
