Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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