dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize