Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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