We're facebook friends in real life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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