i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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