I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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