i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
