Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
