talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
