I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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