yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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