she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
