he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
