How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
