So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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