I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
