just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
