So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We have so much sex to catch up on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
