Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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