its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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