What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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