My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
