i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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