their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
