So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!