theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I AM VODKA MAN
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.