He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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