my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize