just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."