Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks