spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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