i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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