Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
