What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
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His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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