youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
