if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize