How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
