Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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