Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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