Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
