I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
