after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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