she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
