they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
