farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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