Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
