And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
