Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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